Start your marriage with a plan
You've probably spent months planning a wedding and very little time planning the marriage. Premarital counseling is a chance to talk through the things that cause trouble later, while you still like each other a lot and are motivated to get it right.
What we cover
- How you each handle conflict, and how to repair after a fight
- Money: spending, saving, debt, and who decides what
- Kids: whether, when, and how you want to parent
- In-laws, holidays, and boundaries with family
- Careers, moves, and whose plans come first
- Faith, culture, and traditions you want to keep
- Intimacy and expectations
How it's structured
Premarital work uses the same six-session shape as Brief Directive Marriage Counseling™, adapted for couples who aren't in distress. Instead of undoing old patterns, we build good ones on purpose. Most couples never say their expectations out loud. Premarital counseling is where you do. By the end you'll have a short, written agreement about how you want to run your household.
Some friction is normal and healthy. I wrote about that in Frictionless Relationships.
In person or online
I see couples in person in Los Gatos, which is easy to reach from San Jose, Saratoga, Campbell, Cupertino, and the rest of the South Bay. If you're elsewhere in California, or one of you travels a lot, we can meet by video.
Already married and running into trouble? See marriage counseling in Los Gatos or online couples counseling across California.
Frequently asked questions
When should we start premarital counseling?
Ideally three to six months before the wedding, but any time before or in the first year of marriage is useful.
Is this religious premarital counseling?
It isn't tied to any religion, but I'm glad to include your faith and traditions if they matter to you.
How many sessions is premarital counseling?
Usually six sessions. Some couples add one or two check-ins after the wedding.
Book on TherapyFinder or call (408) 665-7920